Might have said these before but knowing you're planning on re-working it some thoughts: openiong credits work well - music in before logo works and title itself an excellent touch; the mundanity of his getting up won't be lost with still more zippy, faster-paced editing, especially cutting to the beat when you can (sequence with knife, plate, toaster does this well; using a jazz soundtrack gives you a chance to be quirkier: consider music vid-style repeat shots as he comes down stairs, cut to the music (I think you could play about with time in this narrative more). Where you have CUs of reflective objects eg kettle, you could have blue man reflected. Maybe have BM in shot (audience's privileged POV only) where the lead can't see him instead of intercut shots. In school, he should be texting at 1st - he passes sev folk walking backwards THEN looks at them, seems odd. Keep dialogue to a minimum; jazz soundtrack fits that minimalism. Better not to have BM speak at all, just gesture/touch head. 2-shot of BM/lead has camera reflected in window. BM leaning in to cam on flashback needs to be more menacing if retained. Maybe play some of the footage with kid backwards, and signify he's here to correct the lapse in the time-space continuum his prev visit caused!!! BM wears office clothes. You could cut a scene where he's given a job to do by other BMen in an office - play around with reasons for his presence. I REALLY don't think he should talk at all, unless backwards. Basically, be prepared to radically rethink to make sure both you two get the high you're quite capable of - this time round having viewed Red Dwarf etc!!!
All points understood from previous talkings and ideas already rolling around our heads. Such as being mute, as you said, but he speaks through mind e.g. put ben into trance which shows him the flashback and then he speaks over it (backwards maybe, depends how well it works[with subs like twin peaks]) Also, how would i save the word doc as a jpeg by any chance? Or would print screen be fine?
Might have said these before but knowing you're planning on re-working it some thoughts: openiong credits work well - music in before logo works and title itself an excellent touch; the mundanity of his getting up won't be lost with still more zippy, faster-paced editing, especially cutting to the beat when you can (sequence with knife, plate, toaster does this well; using a jazz soundtrack gives you a chance to be quirkier: consider music vid-style repeat shots as he comes down stairs, cut to the music (I think you could play about with time in this narrative more). Where you have CUs of reflective objects eg kettle, you could have blue man reflected. Maybe have BM in shot (audience's privileged POV only) where the lead can't see him instead of intercut shots. In school, he should be texting at 1st - he passes sev folk walking backwards THEN looks at them, seems odd. Keep dialogue to a minimum; jazz soundtrack fits that minimalism. Better not to have BM speak at all, just gesture/touch head. 2-shot of BM/lead has camera reflected in window. BM leaning in to cam on flashback needs to be more menacing if retained. Maybe play some of the footage with kid backwards, and signify he's here to correct the lapse in the time-space continuum his prev visit caused!!! BM wears office clothes. You could cut a scene where he's given a job to do by other BMen in an office - play around with reasons for his presence. I REALLY don't think he should talk at all, unless backwards.
ReplyDeleteBasically, be prepared to radically rethink to make sure both you two get the high you're quite capable of - this time round having viewed Red Dwarf etc!!!
All points understood from previous talkings and ideas already rolling around our heads.
ReplyDeleteSuch as being mute, as you said, but he speaks through mind e.g. put ben into trance which shows him the flashback and then he speaks over it (backwards maybe, depends how well it works[with subs like twin peaks])
Also, how would i save the word doc as a jpeg by any chance? Or would print screen be fine?